Why We are Talking More about Miley Cyrus than We are about Robin Thicke
(Readers Beware, Tough Language Ahead)
We don’t think too much of women in our culture. Women have come a long way, baby, in regard to voting, jobs, international influence, and ministry. There’s no doubt about that; and there are advances still to come. In our culture, though, women are still considered sexual objects and we have to change that.
A strong piece of evidence of the pitiful way that we view women is that the number one song in the nation through July and August is Blurred Lines by Robin Thicke. The video is as famous as the song, featuring strutting models in little clothing parading themselves in front of Thicke and his male friends. Here’s a few words from the song:
What do they make dreams for
When you got them jeans on?
What do we need steam for?
You the hottest bitch in this place.
Again, these are words from the number one song in America for a number of weeks now. Obviously you can’t miss that last line.
A few weeks ago, I heard Matt Lauer on NBC’s Today Show asking Paula Deen about her use of “the most offensive word” that is used to refer to African Americans. All of us are aware of the reaction to Mrs. Deen because she used that word. The “N” word is terribly offensive.
In our ministry to couples, my wife and I have spoken to many husbands and wives who have engaged in escalated arguments filled with hurtful,derogatory names. I can tell you, many women feel that being called “bitch” is the most offensive name they can hear.
To some of the young ladies among us, though, while they are offended at being called bitch, they have been brainwashed into believing that being called the hottest bitch is actually a compliment. That’s the lie that allows men to continue to think of women as a compilation of body parts rather than human beings, created in the image of God. The idea is that putting an adjective in front of the name somehow makes it complimentary.
Really? Let’s see if that works with anybody besides women. You supply a racially charged word in the blanks.
You are the hardest working ______________________________ in this company.
You are the most honest _________________________________ in our town.
Does adding the adjectives soften the blow? Does it make it better? Does it even make it OK?
Of course not.
“Bitch” is a put down and because it has sexual connotation, it is a gender-based put down. Often, those who use it do so without individualizing. In other words, for many who use it, all women are bitches – thus the adjectives. Men who use it will not immediately admit it because they know it is wrong, but they look down on women. Women exist for men to evaluate. And while some women are better than others, they are always less than the men who get to evaluate them. Many men see women as objects for them to admire – if the woman is hot enough. And if the woman is hot enough, then she is the subject of the man’s fantasy – and that is her greatest use. If she is not hot enough, she is the object of the man’s scorn. And that is supposed to be her greatest shame.
And everybody in our culture is OK with this now. That’s why, when Miley Cyrus, a young woman in her twenties strips down, bends over, and rubs her rear end against the genitals of Robin Thicke, a married man in his thirties, we talk more about her atrocities than we do about his. He was fully clothed on the MTV VMA awards show where this occurred. His gyrations were much more tame because she was the only one on stage who was evaluated by her body parts instead of her talent or catchy tune.
No woman should be called a bitch. No man ought to do it. No woman ought to call another woman a bitch. And no woman should put up with it.
All women – like all men – are created in the image of God and should be regarded with honor and dignity.
It’s time to change the number one song in America.
It’s time to call Robin Thicke and Miley Cyrus to a healthier and holier view of women. It’s time to change the way our culture views women.
— Richard May